on leaving my job
it would be objectively crazy for me to leave my job right now. to give up a stable salary without knowing what ill do next. to be seen as falling behind in this super speed era of AI. to risk being pushed out of the job market as a woman and a mom, when ive fought so hard to stay a part of it for so long.
and yet, that’s exactly what i find myself doing.
and in spite of all that should scare me — the fear, anxiety, stress, dread — the words that come to mind to describe how im feeling right now are more like light, inspired, and…happy?
im following through on ideas that come to me at random, vibe coding them to bring them to life, instead of pushing them aside as something ill do when i have some “free time.”
im brainstorming businesses that could really add something to my community, and reconnecting with kickass people in my life who are also ready to build something of their own.
im finding power in the fact that there’s so much i can do on my own, and rediscovering just how much im capable of creating.
so i guess im officially entering an open ended chapter of life, and embracing the real opportunity that comes with the words “what’s next.”
maybe someone will share an idea with me they’ve always thought was too weird to share, and we can turn that into something real, because we could all use a little more unhinged in our lives.
maybe ill open up a design consulting business, helping people i care about like my son’s daycare or the farm who owns the CSA im a part of.
maybe ill actually open the brunch restaurant ive been dreaming of for the past few years, giving people in my area a place to gather casually and find a sense of community that doesn’t cost half your month’s salary and require a reservation.
i don’t have it all figured out. i stepped away from my salary. i have a family and a mortgage in a decidedly two-incomes-per-household kind of city. the job market is more unpredictable than ever, and the world kind of feels like it’s burning.
and yet im happy. even if it’s only momentary, i feel freed from something i didn’t know i was being held by. and isn’t that reality the scarier part of this whole thing?